This is a conversation that I had with an 18 year old male recently that just lost a loved one and is currently going through the “semi-typical” father/son issues that are prevalent at this age.
Your job right now is to completely eliminate your shit or issues from your moms life. Be the man that she cries to (to an extent, if she’s doing what she needs to be doing this is ok. If she is not doing what she needs to be doing and is being “weak” mentally it is your job to encourage her and correct her in a positive manner).
Your job is to take burden off of her the best you can so she can grieve and get her stuff lined up and handled. Don’t throw more poop on her plate. Focus on eliminating any drama that you may bring into her life so she does not have to focus on that!
Her world right now feels like it’s crumbling all around her and she can’t win at anything. Your job is to instill confidence in her that everything is going to be ok and the sun is going to shine tomorrow.
So if you get into a situation that can be prevented (like the one with your dad) just don’t attend the situation. Hold your tongue, walk out, and leave if you have to. Eliminate that negative issues from your life the best that you can.
And if you’re hanging with people that contribute negative attitudes, drama, or garbage into your day-to-day life (like their life is a train wreck drama filled ordeal) eliminate it and eliminate your contact with them. Focus on not inheriting anyone else’s shit and focus on your own and your families.
Understand that through a positive attitude and BEING A LEADER IN A POSITIVE MANNER. You can literally solve everyone else’s life issues in a pretty simple manner if they’re receptive to what you have to say. Focus on being a contagious person to be around because you are so positive, impactful, and truly radiate greatness that people want to be around. Be the man YOU WANT TO BE every moment of every day and people will come to you for guidance and leadership. With that focus on not inheriting their bs and letting it drag you down. If it drags you down because it’s continuous and they constantly refuse to act then get out of the situation and eliminate it!
We can only help those that ACTUALLY WANT THE HELP. People often say they’re willing to DO WHATEVER IT TAKES except It Translates to this:
I’m willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES…... BUT I won’t do this, give up this, and I have to attend this destructive activity 2 times/week. Eventually it comes down to they are willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES……. Except for WHAT IT TAKES.
Talk is cheap and action and results are the resume. You can talk about how strong you are, how much you know, how many people look to you, and blah blah blah but the truth is in the action. If you have the correct resume then the opportunities COME TO YOU and you don’t even have to talk about it! You only have to talk about it if you don’t actually have the body of work that you wear in your every day demeanor.
LOOK AT ALL THE TRAINING ARTICLES OUT THERE PEOPLE WRITE THAT GO SOMETHING LIKE THIS:
1. 10 reasons why YOU STILL SUCK
2. Calling themselves a “PRO” and everyone else an idiot.
3. Talking about how hard
4. Stating that everyone’s problem is that they “don’t try hard enough,” “aren’t tough enough,” “do nothing but make excuses,”
5. Use nothing but demeaning & negative messages or contexts when referring to people on their social media accounts.
6. Talk like they are the hardest MF’er in the world that’s the best in the world and blah blah blah……..
BUT YET THESE INDIVIDUALS 95% OF THE TIME
Have a physique that “looks good” to an untrained individual, have no true amount of muscle mass (170lbs and lean really isn’t anything crazy or cool in the real physique world….. 230 and lean is the real deal, 170 and lean and you’re really no where near the caliber you think you are), really have none existent strength to speak of, are constantly uploading videos that make you wonder WTF are you doing, constantly quote the biggest name drops in the industry, and in general do nothing but run with diarhea of the mouth and has truly not accomplished jack shit.
And when you meet someone that talks about it and isn’t about it trying to talk down to you, give you advice, or act like they’re one of the clan of doers just shut your mouth and take note. The time comes where they are forced to eat their crow. Be careful with these people because they want to APPEAR TO BE THE AUTHORITY.... however, they ARE NOT ACTUALLY WILLING/CAPABLE of doing what it takes to be the authority they are talking themselves up to be
The best thing you can ever pass down or over to anyone is the confidence to be EXACTLY who they want to be and are capable of becoming with some true nurturing to build confidence. People don’t believe in themselves worth a fuck and frankly limit every opportunity they could accomplish in life by setting the bar low, making “realistic” goals, and surrounding themselves with others that DO NOT PUSH THEM TO BE GREAT OR DO WHAT WILL BE FULFILLING FOR THEM. We let the wrong people limit our capabilities by allowing them to paralyze us with negativity or the belief that they know more than we do. We let others talk us out of what we are currently doing to be great due to a lack of SELF BELIEF IN WHAT WE KNOW BUT ARE NOT 100% CONFIDENT IN YET.
Listen to the ultimate warrior in the beginning segment of this video. (YouTube lifting and life: the science)
You’ll get the picture! I love you kid! And I’ll help you to the best of my ability. You can come over whenever you want and stay as long as you’d like. I’d love to meet your mom and take you guys out to dinner. People go through rough times all the time (myself included) but how we handle them and who we go to when they’re going on is extremely important. However it is not nearly as important as pushing ourselves to do the right thing and handle issues in a logical, progressive, positive manner that will create the outcome we want. We are not victims or passengers in our own lives.... we drive the fucking bus and are responsible for the final destination being where we want it to be. No one else is going to take us there. We have to take ourselves! And if others come along for the ride (hence the bus) then that’s the lasting impact we leave
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